Dear Doug and Tom —
On behalf of the Houston Texans, and hell while we are at it, on behalf of the entire rest of the AFC South, thank you for inexplicably attaching your franchise’s fortunes to the haywire right arm of Blake Bortles, not just for a fifth year option on his rookie deal for 2018, but for TWO more seasons beyond that in 2019 and 2020.
Oh sure, i get how NFL contracts work. It’s all about the guaranteed money, and you “only” guaranteed Bortles $26.5 million. But that money at least makes him a Jacksonville Jaguar for two seasons, 2018 and 2019, either as an actual player on the roster or a cap crippling pile of dead money. Two seasons, in the NFL, is brought time for at least one or two teams in your division to catch up and surpass you again.
I’ll be honest, the two have you have pushed the correct buttons, for the most part, since taking over the Jags last off-season, so I’m not going to ask you why you thought this was a good idea. It doesn’t matter. It’s done, and I and every other fan in Houston, Indy and Nashville are rejoicing. Sure, you got swept up in Bortles’ surprising spate of above average play down the stretch and in spots in the postseason, but three years and $54 million?!? If you say so.
You bought into those spurts of decent football and completely ignored the fact that, when you needed Bortles to make a play for you in the AFC title game, your offense turned into a parade of three and outs. We are so glad your memories are this selective, that your blind spot is at the most important position in team sports.
Many of your fans are lining up behind you, the euphoria of tarp being peeled off the upper sections of your stadium clouding their brain, no doubt. They cite the two lopsided scores of the Texans-Jags games in response to my Twitter rejoicing over the Bortles deal. Glad you enjoyed those two games, hope you got your jollies in, J-ville. That ends next season. Deshaun Watson will make it so.
So thank you again, Doug and Tom, for willfully removing yourself from the Kirk Cousins sweepstakes. Thank you for not waiting to see if Tyrod Taylor or Case Keenum were to become available. Thank you for not kicking tires on A.J. McCarron. Because not only are all of those guys better solutions than Blake Bortles, they are light years better than him. Thank you for building a glass ceiling on your otherwise stellar roster by signing Bortles to an extension. He sucks and your slide back to being the Jaguars again has begun. The universe began making more sense on Saturday, and for that, again, we thank you.
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