NOTE: IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN “Book of the Stranger” – GAME OF THRONES SEASON 6, EPISODE 3 – THEN DON’T READ ANY FURTHER.
SERIOUSLY, THERE ARE SPOILERS AHEAD.
LOTS OF SPOILERS.
LAST CHANCE TO TURN BACK. YOU’LL WANT TO WATCH YOURSELF DOWN THIS ROAD
The last season of Game of Thrones had some serious pacing issues. And I think a lot of that had to do with the show finally catching up to George R.R. Martin’s books. Now they’re totally in uncharted waters and things are really picking up steam. Let’s begin at The Wall.
Jon Snow’s vacation from responsibility didn’t even make it out of Castle Black. But it was for a good reason. ‘Sup, sis? Or half-sis. Wait . . . if R + L = J . . . ‘sup cuz?
Jon hadn’t interacted with Sansa Stark on camera AT ALL through 5.3 seasons. Seeing them re-unite was pretty moving. There are few moments to get happy about on this show. And they’re usually immediately followed by death. My favorite part? Sansa saying “I was awful, just admit it” while laughing. Yeah Sansa. We knew. For like 4 seasons.
But she’s definitely toughening up in an episode with a consistent theme: women taking charge. It’s Sansa who ultimately convinces Jon lead the Wildlings towards Winterfell to take it back. And it’s Sansa who finishes reading Ramsay Bolton’s troll-job of a letter.
Speaking of, what a poet that man is:
“You’re a bastard.
Winterfell. Come See!
Shaggy Dog’s dead. Come see!
You’re still a bastard.
Also, I have Rickon. Come see!
Bastard. You are a bastard, sir. An actual bastard.”
I couldn’t have been the only one who thought that Brienne of Taarth would either kill Ser Davos or Melisandre. That was a tense scene. Knowing Brienne’s inability to let anything go, I imagine the relationships between those three will come back into play.
Speaking of relationships . . .
Tormund and Brienne 4-EVER! TAKE IT AWAY ELTON JOHN!
Osha returned to the show after being gone since the end of season 3. Her return sure lasted a long time. RIP, Tonks.
Naturally, everyone wants Ramsay Bolton to die. And they’ve wanted him to die for a while. But let me ask you this: do you want to live in a Westeros without Ramsay? Because I can’t think of a more compelling villain. No one character inspires the same dread that he does. Outside of the Night King – who isn’t a human – he’s the show’s last “bogeyman”.
You could say that Littlefinger has Robyn Arryn . . . WRAPPED AROUND HIS FINGER.
It’s about time we saw our good friend Petyr Baelish and his gangly dope of a nephew Robyn again. And poor Lord Royce. We all know that Littlefinger dropped Sansa off with the Boltons. Lord Yohn Royce didn’t like hearing about that and asked Mr. Baelish “‘Sup”. Naturally, asking Littlefinger about the truth resulted in Lord Royce being impressed into a war.
I imagine that Littlefinger and the Knights of the Vale will meet up with Jon Snow and Sansa Stark very soon. The big question: what happens next? Because Littlefinger just put Sansa through hell.
PLEASE . . . NO MORE SAM AND GILLY.
Oh wait, it’s just Theon returning to Pike, home of the Greyjoys.
Theon was a terrible human being for the first three seasons. In a nutshell? Meg from Family Guy.
But it’s hard not to sympathize with him now. He says he’s going to try and help his sister Yara rule the Ironborn. But I’m not really sure how this shell of a man can provide any. He didn’t really help Sansa escape. Yeah, he pushed Ramsay’s boo thang Myranda off a wall. But it was Brienne and Podric who really rescued Sansa.
Apparently, all it took for the High Sparrow to find his way down the righteous path was a drunken night of debauchery. Guess I’ll be heading down that way soon . . .
I’ve got two questions concerning Mr. Sparrow.
1. Does he buy into Margaery’s act? Because he shouldn’t. The Queen is the greatest “actress” in the Game of Thrones Universe. Seriously. Who has a better poker face?
She told the High Sparrow what he wanted to hear so she could see Loras. Unfortunately, Loras is in Theon-mode. She’s kept strong thus far. Can she keep it up? Or will the High Sparrow find a way to use her for his gains?
2. When The High Sparrow told King Tommen that Margaery has a “walk of shame” of her own to do, he HAD to have known he’d tell his mother. And whenever Cersei knows something, things get violent. And quickly.
The Tyrells and Lannisters agreed on THIS plan to stop said “walk of shame”:
– The Tyrells – with the second biggest army in Westeros – storm King’s Landing
– The Lannisters do what they do best: stand down and let another army take King’s Landing
It sounds pretty good on paper. But once again, the High Sparrow is too smart for this to go that smoothly.
You’ve got to wonder how Daenerys is going to react when she hears that Tyrion released her two dragons from the crypt AND is giving the other cities of Slaver’s Bay 7 years to rid themselves of slavery. I doubt it’ll be pretty, especially with how pissed Grey Worm and Missandei looked.
You’ve also got to wonder about what Greyworm said at the conclusion of the scene: “You will not use them. They will use you.” Tyrion made a comment about the Masters under-estimating him. But it seems like Tyrion is under-estimating THEM.
Ser Jorah constantly having a stick up his ass leads to some fantastic Buddy Cop-esque duos. First it was with Tyrion. Now it’s with Daario Naharis. Who just referred to sleeping with Daenerys as “riding the dragon”. Jorah probably loved that.
While we’re on Daario, what was his best moment Sunday?
– “Riding the dragon”
– Struggling to turn over his knife. (PS, he never turned over his knife)
– “I should have been born Dothraki” in the midst of voyeurism
– Smashing the dead guy’s face to hide the knife wound
I’ve been criticizing Daenerys for acting entirely too cocky the last few episodes. WHOOPS. She just murdered all the khals AND got naked AND is apparently fire-proof. Pyro-maniac streakers seem better suited for fraternities/sororities than ruling the world. But you gotta do what you gotta do, right? And this was clearly what Daenerys had to do. Now she’s got an entire horde of barbarians that think she’s a God at her back.
Paul Gallant hosts “Gallant at Night” – weeknights 7-11 PM on SportsRadio 610. He also hosts SportsZone Unfiltered – Fridays at 10 PM – on The Kube: Channel 57 and the Spoiler Alert podcast – available weekly on SportsRadio610.com and iTunes. Get in touch with Paul via email or at his facebook page: Paul Gallant: SportsRadio610.