By Garret Heinrich

The Denver Broncos currently have one quarterback on their roster after Peyton Manning retired and Brock Osweiler chose to sign a $72M contract with the Houston Texans on Wednesday.  The Broncos will obviously have to sign a quarterback or two and wide receiver Emmanuel Sanders is scouting guys for his team.

1. Uncle Rico

He seems like the obvious choice with such impressive skills. Sanders elaborates on the scouting report for Rico.

2. Brucie

Man, you just can’t lie on a resume. That is not good. Too bad for Brucie, that guy never gets to play.

3. Earl Megget

4. Willie Beamin

Sanders has the seniority, but Willie Beamin is in like every commercial, kinda like another quarterback that just left the Broncos.

5. Al Bundy

If only Al wasn’t living his second life with a new voluptuous younger wife, but he was the Greatest Of All Time.

6. Shane Falco

The left handedness is a bigger issue than you might think, the ball spins the opposite way. There is also the issue of Falco’s gambling record.

7. Mike Winchell

Poor Winchell just couldn’t live up to all the pressure, not sure how he’d do defending a Super Bowl championship.

8. The Rock

Probably best suited to stay at lineman, maybe linebacker.

But then a hiccup, the Broncos might not be able to get their number one choice, the Browns are interested in Uncle Rico.

9. Brandon Macmanus (Current Broncos Kicker)

He’s pretty good at that one job.

10. Paul Crewe aka Bobby Boucher

The ultimate two-way player can do everything and even comes up big on special teams, just no yo-mama jokes in the locker room.

11. Matt Saracen

Sanders feels a lot like the fans of Permian Panther football, “WHO IS THIS GUY!?” but trust us, he’s got the stuff to make it.

12. Junior

It wouldn’t be the first time Junior would change teams. He’s a locker room glue guy. Everyone loves him once they accept him. We should look for some new plays for the Broncos too apparently.

13. Mox

His heart just isn’t in football. Piss him off and he’ll hit you square in the nose.

14. President Obama

This guy won’t be ready to start the season (priorities) but he could Roger Clemens it for the team late, just hope the Broncos don’t play the Bears late, you can’t trust his loyalty.

But with all the fun Sanders was having he wanted to let everyone know he was just having some fun on Twitter in the offseason. We enjoyed it Emmanuel, but can we offer up one more guy:

15. Ronnie “Sunshine” Bass

Hell Rev should get some looks too.


(Photo Credit: Getty Images)

(Photo Credit: Getty Images)




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