By Paul Gallant, SportsRadio 610By Paul Gallant


Before Sunday’s Texans – Titans game, the Texans twitter account asked the following.

Naturally, I got cheeky.

Can you blame me? Tennessee was 3 – 11. Marcus Mariota wasn’t playing. And I’m honestly not sure how many Titans players could start for other NFL teams. Maybe 4? 5?

I was out of town this weekend, so I missed the Texans 34 – 6 victory. After landing at Hobby Airport Sunday night, I asked the following:

Here’s my recap of the last Texans – Titans game: a 20 – 6 Houston win:

  • I whined about how boring the Titans are
  • I made another joke about how I have know clue who plays for the Titans
  • I whined about how this game doesn’t teach us a whole lot about the Texans
  • I said that you should expect Texans defensive dominance against Tennessee
  • I explained that Houston’s running game isn’t very good

 

Yesterday’s Texans – Titans game? Check, check, check, check, and check.

“WOW. How much more lazy can Paul Gallant get? He quoted himself three times in this post, AND told us he didn’t watch the game, AND apparently hates watching sports.”

Granted. But after watching the game Monday afternoon, here are my NON-copy-and-pasted takeaways.

BRANDON WEEDEN

A few caveats before we discuss Weeden’s successful day.

1. The Titans – who have given up on the season at least 8 times – might make hung-over, noodle armed ME look competent
2. CAN WE PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF MY SANITY STOP MANUFACTURING QUARTERBACK CONTROVERSIES EVERY FIVE F*CKING SECONDS

Thanks.

Weeden was shaky to open the game. That’s to be expected. His grasp of the offense is still limited. Remember, he said this just a few weeks ago. There were a few plays where his receivers weren’t in the spot he threw to. And I think the wildcat packages disrupted his rhythm.

But towards the end of the second quarter, he got in a groove. It all started when he did what he does best: bomb it. He perfectly launched a 44 yard bomb to DeAndre Hopkins, spurring a drive that led to a 7 yard Weeden touchdown scramble (a play where you could see just how much the Titans have quit on this season).

After a drive to nowhere before halftime, Weeden had his best drive of the game. He was 4-5 for 51 yards, capping it off with a touchdown to DeAndre Hopkins in the corner of the end zone. His next drive – on a short field thanks to an impressive Eddie Pleasant interception – he was 2-3 for 26 yards and another touchdown lob to Nate Washington.

Weeden still deserves credit for his play, even if it was against the Titans. But more credit needs to go to Bill O’Brien. The Texans quarterbacks aren’t particularly talented. Yet when one of them goes down due to injury, their production remains adequate.

WE INTERRUPT THIS IN A NUTSHELL..

To remind you that the Titans are a complete embarrassment. Let’s be real, this game was over on the fifth play of the game – when Antonio “I’m still the Titans starting running back, damnit” Andrews fumbled the ball and Quentin Demps returned it for a touchdown.

Secondary? More like PRIMARY #AmIRite

They made plays. As mentioned before, Quentin Demps returned a fumble for a touchdown and Eddie Pleasant had a super-manly interception. Andre Hal had a pair of deflected passes. And the whole unit did a great job tackling. It’s amazing how much better things have been since Rahim Moore was benched. However . . .

WE ONCE AGAIN INTERRUPT YOU WITH THIS SPECIAL HOT TAKE

The Titans should be banished from sports. Remember the time that Tennessee strip sacked Weeden and had the ball at the Houston 25? Yeah, they immediately screwed that up with a holding penalty, then pushed themselves out of field goal range with an illegal substitution before the attempt.

J.J. WATT’S ARCH-NEMESIS

Remember the whole J.J. Watt v Zach Mettenberger beef this offseason?

I’m not so sure it’s over.

And it brings me to this conclusion. J.J. Watt – destroyer of worlds – has the worst arch-rival of all time. A Harlem Globetrotters v Washington Generals-esque mismatch. Zach Mettenberger is a horrible quarterback. I lost count of all the passes he overthrew. And it took him ’til 4th and goal late in the fourth quarter against Texans backups to crack the scoreboard. Keep in mind he’d been playing against the Texans’ 2nd string defense for half the quarter. Your hair may be incredible, Zach, but NFL might not be for you.

Paul Gallant co-hosts the “B-Straw and Pauly G” show – Tuesdays 9-11 PM, Wednesdays 8-11 PM, and Fridays 8-11 PM – on SportsRadio 610. He also hosts SportsZone Unfiltered – Fridays at 10 PM – on The Kube: Channel 57. Get in touch with Paul via email or at his facebook page: Paul Gallant: SportsRadio610.

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