In this week’s That Thing You Missed, a Spartan prank, A streaker is leveled by Browns security, meet baseball’s “Swag Daddy.” He’s not what you think he is and Tom Brady gets caught on tape checking out the, er, competition – it’s not quite what you think, either.
A Very Brady Sequel?
You’ve probably heard the saying “no matter how hot the woman is, there’s some guy somewhere who’s tired of putting up with her…. um, crap.”
Before you accuse me of sexism, you can’t deny basic human male instincts.
And while his prowess on the football field may suggest otherwise, Tom Brady is still human, after all.
So, despite being married to one of the most beautiful women in the world, Gisele Bunchen, he was caught checking out another lady as she strolled by him on the sidelines.
But don’t fret Gisele. It doesn’t matter where he gets his appetite, as long as he comes home for dinner, right?
Not sure? Perhaps you should ask Bridget Moynahan?
Not So ”Little” League
When he read about an athlete with a nickname like “Swag Daddy” a specific picture tends to come to mind.
200 pounds? Check.
Rocks a size 15 shoe? Double Check.
12-years old. Wait. What?
Yep. “Swag Daddy” or Chad Lorkowski to his mom and dad is actually a Michigan Little Leaguer who threw ten strikeouts last weekend to help his team get into the World Series.
In his spare time he plays basketball, video games and is growing a prepubescent moustache.
Look, I’m not going to lie – I don’t get NASCAR. Or car racing of any kind, for that matter, I am a city girl who starts to white knuckle it if I am forced to drive over 40mph.
So, naturally, I question the sanity of it’s participants as a general rule.
But for the life of me I cannot image why Justin Lofton was racing without a windshield. Aren’t those cars already a deathtrap? Isn’t he worried about getting bugs in his teeth?
Lofton got more than bugs. A seagull flew into his car mid-race and what did he do? Freak out and pull over like a sane person would? Of course not.
He nonchalantly picked the bird up and threw it back out of the window.
Oh, and he went on to win the race. Amazing! But heaven help him if PETA gets a gander at the video.
A Lucky Streak?
(H/T Kaila Sargema/Instagram)
Unfortunately for the Detroit Lions the most effective defense in their pre-season loss (24-6) against the Cleveland Browns came from running back Joique Bell who darted out of a huddle to tackle a naked man streaking across the field.
But he couldn’t get the job done.
It took a pair of bouncers in the end zone to finish him off.
One of the muscle men gave the naked man a shoulder tackle to the hip. Ew.
Jim Schwartz sign that security guard now.
As a rule it takes a lot to unnerve college football players – just ask the NCAA.
That wasn’t quite the case in Lansing, Michigan this week when a man dressed up as a mannequin stood outside MSU’s locker room to scare the team.
His first victim? Head coach Mark Dantonio who jumped out of his skin, then cackled uncontrollably.
And it doesn’t stop there.
Number one, that guy is lucky he didn’t get a beat down and number two, can you imagine anyone trying to pull these shenanigans when Nick Saban was at the helm?
E-mail Tara Lipinsky at firstname.lastname@example.org or send me a Tweet @TaraLipinsky.