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As many of you saw, the San Francisco 49ers tied the St. Louis Rams this weekend, which was awful because ties are boring and stupid. After all that buildup, all we got was the blandest outcome imaginable. Kind of like getting a necktie as a holiday present. So what’s the bigger letdown, a tie, or a tie?
Tale of the tape
Tale Of The Tape: Football Tie Vs. Necktie As A Holiday Gift
| WOOOOO! | HIGHLY ANTICIPATED BUILDUP? | OH YEAH! |
|---|---|---|
| ...aww | IMMEDIATE REACTION AFTER SEING IT'S A TIE? | ...oh |
| Potentially, if your team wins. Heck, even a loss would be a resolution. | WERE YOU EXPECTING SOMETHING AWESOME? | Not after 20, but, like, give me a book or something! |
| "I got drunk for nothing!" | ANGRY THOUGHT A FEW MINUTES LATER? | "I guess I'll wear this at work, which is a place I love going to all the time." |
| "Europeans love soccer, and they tie all the time!" | SLAPDASH ENCOURAGEMENT FROM OTHERS? | "Europeans love ties! They wear them all the time!" |
| Pfft. Yes. | RELATED TO ALEX SMITH'S CONCUSSION? | Wh-...no...? |
We'll just call it a tie
IT'S...oh. It's a tie.
More Tales of the tape
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Stats Aside, Which Franchise Has The Edge? Seattle Seahawks Vs. Denver BroncosYou can’t turn on the tv without a breakdown of what might happen on the field, so we’re looking at some factors that likely won’t influence the game outcome.
