Sign Up for Newsletters
As many of you saw, the San Francisco 49ers tied the St. Louis Rams this weekend, which was awful because ties are boring and stupid. After all that buildup, all we got was the blandest outcome imaginable. Kind of like getting a necktie as a holiday present. So what’s the bigger letdown, a tie, or a tie?
Tale of the tape
Tale Of The Tape: Football Tie Vs. Necktie As A Holiday Gift
| WOOOOO! | HIGHLY ANTICIPATED BUILDUP? | OH YEAH! |
|---|---|---|
| ...aww | IMMEDIATE REACTION AFTER SEING IT'S A TIE? | ...oh |
| Potentially, if your team wins. Heck, even a loss would be a resolution. | WERE YOU EXPECTING SOMETHING AWESOME? | Not after 20, but, like, give me a book or something! |
| "I got drunk for nothing!" | ANGRY THOUGHT A FEW MINUTES LATER? | "I guess I'll wear this at work, which is a place I love going to all the time." |
| "Europeans love soccer, and they tie all the time!" | SLAPDASH ENCOURAGEMENT FROM OTHERS? | "Europeans love ties! They wear them all the time!" |
| Pfft. Yes. | RELATED TO ALEX SMITH'S CONCUSSION? | Wh-...no...? |
We'll just call it a tie
IT'S...oh. It's a tie.
More Tales of the tape
-
Who Has The Intangibles? The Yanks Vs. Red DevilsHere is how the USA and Belgium match up in ways that actually don’t mean anything on the field. Winner goes home and maybe one of these arbitrary things will sway the game.
-
-
Tale Of The Tape: Winter Olympics In Sochi Vs. FIFA World Cup In BrazilWith both sites having their share of issues in hosting major international sporting events, we went to the tape to decide who was the worst host of 2014.
