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As many of you saw, the San Francisco 49ers tied the St. Louis Rams this weekend, which was awful because ties are boring and stupid. After all that buildup, all we got was the blandest outcome imaginable. Kind of like getting a necktie as a holiday present. So what’s the bigger letdown, a tie, or a tie?
Tale of the tape
Tale Of The Tape: Football Tie Vs. Necktie As A Holiday Gift
| WOOOOO! | HIGHLY ANTICIPATED BUILDUP? | OH YEAH! |
|---|---|---|
| ...aww | IMMEDIATE REACTION AFTER SEING IT'S A TIE? | ...oh |
| Potentially, if your team wins. Heck, even a loss would be a resolution. | WERE YOU EXPECTING SOMETHING AWESOME? | Not after 20, but, like, give me a book or something! |
| "I got drunk for nothing!" | ANGRY THOUGHT A FEW MINUTES LATER? | "I guess I'll wear this at work, which is a place I love going to all the time." |
| "Europeans love soccer, and they tie all the time!" | SLAPDASH ENCOURAGEMENT FROM OTHERS? | "Europeans love ties! They wear them all the time!" |
| Pfft. Yes. | RELATED TO ALEX SMITH'S CONCUSSION? | Wh-...no...? |
We'll just call it a tie
IT'S...oh. It's a tie.
More Tales of the tape
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Tale Of The Tape: Houston Texans At Indianapolis ColtsThe Texans’ season continues to spiral out of control and after they lost their 11th straight game to the Jacksonville Jaguars in Week 14, head coach Gary Kubiak was fired.
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Tale Of The Tape: Houston Texans At Jacksonville JaguarsThe Texans are just playing for dignity at this point, and they are not going to recapture much of it by going up against the Jaguars.
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Which Is More Satisfying On Thanksgiving Day? NFL Football Vs. Thanksgiving PieSurely you’re taking part in all of the wonderful traditions of Thanksgiving like football, and pie. Which of these traditions takes the top spot in our hearts?
