610SPOR2 35h_CBSSportsRad_Houston

Tale of the tape

Tale Of The Tape: Ferris Bueller Vs. Tiger Woods

Tiger Woods announced he was not going to be able to participate in the U.S. Open. While we get he is injured – the fact he is taken the U.S. Open off has become a big news story. Which made us think – what would a day off with Tiger Woods look like?  Would it be better than taking the day off with Ferris Bueller?  Lets go to the tape.

ferris (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)
(Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)

Ferris Bueller

Tiger Woods

Lots of pre game – McGyvering entire room followed by licking palms and rewiring doorbell. Start To The Day Back Massage followed by counting money.
Fine Dining - Chez Quis and its staff await your arrival. Eating Out Tiger's notorious for not leaving good tips – you'll pay and feel guilty about it.
Fine museums, sports events, a possible parade. Soaking in Culture No chance of going to any public places.
Sloane Petterson or Cameron Frye – either would be a bonus. Possible Third Wheel Lindsey Vonn
Priceless 1961 Ferrari 250GT – less than 100 were made. Getting Around Town Used Buick with a busted rear window.
Just leave a key under the backdoor mat and we'll be fine. Chances of Getting Caught Yeah – we won't go there.

The winner is

ferris
Ferris Bueller
4 out of 6

Les jeux sont faits. Translation: the game is up. Ferris is the king of taking the day off and there is no doubt he is the right choice. Of course the question isn't what are you going to do. The question is what aren't you going to do?

More Tales of the tape

  1. USA v Germany: Group G - 2014 FIFA World Cup Brazil Korea Republic v Belgium: Group H - 2014 FIFA World Cup Brazil
    Who Has The Intangibles? The Yanks Vs. Red Devils

    Here is how the USA and Belgium match up in ways that actually don’t mean anything on the field. Winner goes home and maybe one of these arbitrary things will sway the game.

  2. 98271580 129736250
  3. (Photo Credit: Getty Images/Richard Heathcote) (Photo Credit: Getty Images/Warren Little)
    Tale Of The Tape: Winter Olympics In Sochi Vs. FIFA World Cup In Brazil

    With both sites having their share of issues in hosting major international sporting events, we went to the tape to decide who was the worst host of 2014.

See all Tales of the Tape