By Garret Heinrich

by: Garret Heinrich (@GarretHeinrich)

The Houston Texans kick off the season in on beautiful new turf at NRG Stadium against the Chicago Bears.  These are the random thoughts that went on in my head before during and after the game as I watch from the press box (View Pictured Above)

-It’s 9am and I’m the first person in the press box.  Gotta go make sure Sean Pendergast has his seat against the wall.  Breakfast tacos for pregame meal, I can get behind that.

-I love the new turf at NRG. The blue endzones are such an upgrade from the green with outlined “Texans.” Looks better on TV and in person. Win. Win.

-I don’t know how to properly write “Win. Win.” Is it two separate sentences? Should I just use a comma? Should I ask someone?

-I like the full field flag they bring out at some of the games. It looks majestic. It’s also just impressive to have such a big flag.

-Video message from President Obama was good, moving, and brings it in focus that we are about to watch a game, that doesn’t really matter.  Thank you to all the first responders and everyone who defends this country for us.

-Texans will start with the ball.  I am excited about this Texans team. A lot of weapons.

-Brock Osweiler looks funny when he runs.  It takes his feet a long time to get back to the ground.

-Bad pick by Brock there. Forced it into a non-existent window. The positive way to look at it is that it wasn’t returned for a touchdown, so he’s got that going for him.

-Kevin Johnson was hoping on that one as Alshon Jeffery just went up and grabbed it. Good play by Jeffery

-Langford with a touchdown for the Bears. Kind of sucked the energy out of the stadium. Defense didn’t do anything to look like they’d stop the Bears.

-It’s hard to write “the Bears” I really want to write “da Bears” because that is how I say it in my head every time.

-Hall of Fame. Hall of Fame. Hall of Fame.  Great job by Shane Lechler chasing Royal out of bounds after his coverage team fails him on a good punt.  I am never mad when a Texans drive stalls because I get to watch a GOAT do his thing.

-Oh, Jay Cutler, don’t ever stop being you. Fumble on the snap on 4th down. Such good things from you.

-Brock has thrown the ball to the tight ends already today. That is new and interesting.

-The cannon fires on a 28-yard field goal.  Some people don’t think the cannon should shoot off on FGs under 35-yards. I might be one of those people.

-Matt Hammond made a tweet that now everyone in the press box is jumping on him for. I’ll let you enjoy.

-Sorry Not Sorry Matt.

-Tyler Ervin just looks like he’s going to break a punt, even when there is little to no room around him.

-Hopkins should have caught that pass, but he got called for an offensive pass interference so it would have hurt more if he did. I’m thinking he knew that. He cares about the fans.

-OH! Hopkins makes a tremendous catch for the touchdown. Great throw by Osweiler.

-My favorite thing about Brock Osweiler on twitter is that when I say his handle I call him “Boss-Weiler” (@bosweiler17)

-Everytime Will Fuller drops a pass an angel gets its wings*. So take some positive from Fuller dropping that wide open, probably a touchdown pass with under two minutes to go in the half.

*no proof angels get wings when this happens or that angels exist at all and that they aren’t immediately granted wings when they become angels. It’d be pretty messed up to be like, ‘yo, you’re an angel now, but you gotta wait for Will Fuller to drop a pass before you can fly.’

-How do you let Alshon Jeffery that wide open? DAMN.

-And that is how you lose all the momentum at the half.  Texans trail 14-10 at halftime.

-Chicken wings at halftime. I went with buffalo and ranch, to dip the wings in.

-Ended up barely using the ranch.  Feel good about this choice.

-That is how you get momentum right back. Again, Jay don’t stop being you.  Thanks for the interception.

-Another stalled drive for the Texans. If Bill O’Brien hadn’t always had a lot of trouble in the red zone with his offense I probably wouldn’t be worried, but you know, he has, so I am.

-58-yard punt from Lechler. I seriously love watching this.

-J.J. Watt has been kind of absent today. Not that he isn’t doing stuff, just not being at the end of the plays. On the other hand, the linebackers (Clowney, Mercilus and Simon) have been excellent.


-HEY THERE GOES ALFRED BLUE! Back to the sideline.

-Will Fuller has some jets! Turned that screen pass into an easy touchdown. That is why he was a 1st round pick. Has to feel good after that tough loss (except for the angel that got it’s wings. That has to make him feel a little bit better.)

-AND another catch for Fuller! This one on the sideline diving. Great catch. Over 100 yards on the day. Osweiler likes going to the kid.

-Jay Prosch just got called for taunting after a punt return by Ervin. JAY PROSCH! And this isn’t even the reason fullbacks are becoming irrelevant in the NFL. From Sean Pendergast: “Ohh good I can go cash my ticket on Jay Prosch getting the first taunting penalty of the season for the Texans.”

-This game is ending quickly. It’s not even 3:00pm and we’re in the “Bears trying to just cover the spread” moment of the game.

-J.J. really wanted a sack on Cutler there. Had him in the grasp and Cutler just threw the ball away. No sack.

-On the replay it looks like Cutler was down. I think J.J. would throw the challenge flag here to get that sack.

-That’s it. The Texans win 23-14. The second half was absolutely dominated by the Texans. We had a few “Jay Be Jay” moments and the Texans new weapons, Miller, Fuller, Osweiler paid off.


Thanks for joining me on the ride through the Texans Week 1 win with me.  Come back next week when the Texans try and get revenge on the Kansas City Chiefs.


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