by Garret Heinrich (@GarretHeinrich)
It’s that time of year again. Everyone will be gathering this weekend to pick their fantasy football teams. (If you’re like me and draft with a teacher as commissioner you have to draft in mid-August and it sucks). But one thing that can help your team, even if you draft poorly, is having a solid team name.
A good team name will not only determine your likely outcome in your fantasy league, if you happen to play for a trophy, could live on forever.
There are four major categories you should pick from when getting your team name.
Pop Culture Reference
Inside Joke/Personal Reference
Since I don’t know you or your inside jokes; we’ll abstain from listing those here. (My team name is “Blinds & Curtains” after a funny comment from The League draft in Chicago. There is also a “Really A Knife?” in my league for the guy who got a knife pulled on him in Chicago. Those aren’t going to work for you, but they are perfect for our league.)
Dak To The Future
Dak Prescott is going to get drafted by someone in your league. Probably the Cowboys fan who has talked himself into Dak going 7-3 without Tony Romo and Romo becoming the backup in Dallas for the rest of the year. (Trust me I’ve been told these things from Cowboys fans.) So if you are that fan, or you just love Back to the Future (who doesn’t?) this is a good team name for you. Also a good Player/Pop Culture mix name, bonus points!
Bonus: Found this on twitter, already Logo Ready!
Rock Out With Your Brock Out
Another good QB centric name that will probably only appeal to the Texans fan in the league, but here in Houston that is a lot of them. No need to go with J.J. or DeAndre reference. Get behind the guy throwing the ball and support Brock Osweiler as he tries to prove he’s worth a lot of money he got in the offseason.
Look it’s an election year and that means you need to get your candidates together to win your league. Nothing better than stacking your QB and WR together and hoping they can take you victory this year. Just hope you can do a Dalton/Green 2016 or Rodgers/Nelson 2016 or even the young duo of Carr/Cooper 2016. This doesn’t just have to be players on the same team, you could use whatever two studs you have on your team. It’s simple and you can make an easy logo for your team.
After the famous British research boat that was voted on to be named “Boaty McBoatface” and the horse that raced under the name “Horsey McHorseface” this name is perfect pop culture/internet reference that will get a laugh every time. Even better when you win your league and it gets etched in for all eternity.
Gotta Catch Jamaal
Jamaal Charles is back, hopefully fully healthy, and Pokemon was (is?) still really really popular as people are getting out and trying to catch all the Pokemon, like defenses are trying to catch Jamaal. Love Charles as a late first or second-round pick if you can get him. If healthy, you’ll get value from him, and you don’t have to leave the house on Sunday to chase him into the neighbor’s backyard (WHICH I HAVEN’T DONE!)
Wentz Upon A Time…
Great if your the team that won a championship 8 years ago and haven’t been back on top. Also a lot of different options for the follow-up after the ellipsis. It now also could be impactful for the Eagles as “Wentz Upon A Time, Carson Wentz was going to play for us in 2016” as the rookie quarterback is having trouble with his rib injury.
The Walking Dead
This name isn’t great on it’s own. But it is perfect if you drafted Tony Romo a week ago and now your season is over before it started because you didn’t draft a backup quarterback, waiting to see who would pan out. You must make your team logo a picture of Tony. No exceptions. Also, works if you have Teddy Bridgewater, Justin Houston (in a IDP league) or another injured star.
Make America Gronk Again or Make Fantasy Gronk Again
Probably the most used name I’ve seen out there this year, Make America Gronk Again actually does make America great again. Adding Gronk to anything makes the world a better place. Adding him to Donald Trump’s slogan might actually get him to win the Presidential election.
The Zika Virus is a scary thing. But for defenses, Ezekiel Elliot is a very scary thing, especially behind that offensive line. The Zeke Virus might turn a lot of defenses into mush and raise fantasy teams into glory. Rarely does a rookie running back start as a top 5 pick in most fantasy drafts, but that is happening with Zeke. If you get him, better warn your opponents to put on their bug spray.
What are you naming your team? Let us know what was missed.