[WARNING, THERE ARE SO MANY SPOILERS. APPARENTLY I HAVE TO SAY THIS AT THE BEGINNING OF EVERY POST FOR ALL THE PEOPLE THAT DON’T WATCH THE SHOW LIVE. IF YOU ARE SEASONS BEHIND, I HONESTLY HAVE NO SYMPATHY FOR YOU. GET CULTURED, BRO.]
The perfect episode. What a way to tie a bow on the best season of Game of Thrones.
Yes, I’m saying that after actually having the gall to complain about last week’s episode. I’d been waiting for death this season. Destruction. Chaos. And instead, I’d gotten a lot of happy moments . . . in a world where those aren’t supposed to happen . . . and everything is supposed to be unpredictable.
Sunday finally delivered.
Few things set a mood like a good score. “Light of the Seven” by Game of Thrones composer Ramin Djawadi and all its creepy glory (with murderous little children running amok) reminded me of the baptism scene in The Godfather. We even got a creepy organ!
“The Mad Queen” theory has been all over the internet the last few weeks. The rumor that Qyburn found to be true? It was about all the wild fire in King’s Landing. From the start of the episode, it seemed pretty clear that Cersei was up to something TRULY evil. All the signs were there: from the black dress – when she’s only worn red for 6 seasons – to the giant glass of wine. The question was just how far Cersei would go.
But did anyone think that she’d manage to kill ALL of her enemies? At once? That oaf Mace Tyrell is one thing. Loras Tyrell was a dead man walking anyway. Plus, Pycelle, Lancel, and Uncle Kevan never seemed untouchable. But to take out both Margaery (who knew immediately that Cersei was up to something) AND the High Sparrow (the look of dumb terror on his face was priceless)? And wipe out the future of the Tyrell family in the process? Michael Corleone would be proud.
More incredible? Cersei’s speech to Ulenna, our favorite giant Nun. From “Confess”, through her own confession of doing things because they make her feel good, and all the way to her mic drop of “Shame”, it was electric. And oddly, it was satisfying to see Cersei get her vengeance. The show needed someone TRULY EVIL to replace Ramsay. Queen Cersei did it.
Cersei has never been one for calculated planning. Like Ramsay, she’s a bit impulsive. There’s no way that she saw Tommen killing himself. And I’m honestly not sure how she felt about her dead son. Did she feel betrayed? After all, if Tommen didn’t outlaw Trial by Combat, this probably wouldn’t have happened. Did she think he was weak? Whatever the case, it seemed like she moved on pretty quickly.
The biggest question involving Cersei? How long ’til she dies? Daenerys is crossing the narrow sea with a huge armada – complete with vengeance obsessed Martell and Tyrell ships in her fleet – and 3 dragons. There is no way any Westerosi army can stand up to that force. Let alone the citizen’s of King’s Landing, who essentially were nuked by their own ruler. Even Jaime looked disgusted when he saw his sister sitting on the Iron Throne.
Speaking of Jaime, he may have dodged a bullet at The Twins by leaving. That lusty looking servant serving drinks and staring at him? That was actually Arya Stark, who pulled the old Chili Con Carnival move on Walder Frey. Nah nah nah nah, nahhh, nahhh, I made you eat your children!
Remember this interaction between Melisandre and Arya back in season 3?
Brown eyes. Blue eyes. Green eyes. But whose eyes?
Arya has killed several people on her list thus far, most importantly Meryn Trant and now Walder Frey. Meryn had brown eyes. And while it was difficult to spot during the show, David Bradley – the actor who played Walder Frey – has blue eyes. As for the green eyes? Only one character comes to mind: Cersei Lannister. If I had to gamble on who might take out Cersei, I’d guess Arya.
The witch Melisandre might be one of those sets of eyes too. She also has blue eyes, and we know she’ll see Arya at some point again. Plus, after Jon kicked her ass out of Winterfell (poor sad Davos), she’s an easy target on the road.
The Sam and Gilly storyline is still a chore. But hey, they made it to one awesome looking city in Oldtown AND the only cool library ever. Throw in an awkward “Yeah, but I suppose life is irregular” one liner anddd . . . we’re back to the storylines that matter.
Bran’s return to the show served two purposes. It reminded us that the White Walkers can’t get past The Wall since it has some magical spells on it. And it finally confirmed the long held fan theory: that R + L = J (Rhaegar Targaryen + Lyanna Stark = Jon Snow). Going forward though, you have to wonder what Bran’s purpose is. Will we get more flashback scenes? Get some more details on Rhaegar and Lyanna’s relationship? Unfortunately, we’ll have to wait.
I’ve only gotten emotional in a happy way twice during this show: when Jon was elected Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch . . . and when he was proclaimed King of the North. If you didn’t tear up for the latter, you have no soul.
And once again, how about Lyanna Mormont? That 10 year old ball of ferocity stole the scene by calling out all of the Northern houses that didn’t help Jon take back the North. An incredible child actor like Bella Ramsey? That’s like finding a flying unicorn. Just ask Anakin Skywalker in The Phantom Menace.
So the North is unified. And Winter has finally come. Until the Walkers arrive, we’re done with conflict up there, right?
Wrong. Because Littlefinger lurks. And he looked pissed at the impromptu “King of the North!” declarations. Combine that with Sansa shutting him down after he told her what he wanted (the Iron Throne, Sansa as his queen, and a smooch) and you know he’s probably crafting a manipulative plan. He’s already put his play into works: trying to drive a wedge between Jon and Sansa. I don’t think he’ll have any luck with Jon. But Sansa? You never know.
We’d be remiss if we didn’t touch on Daenerys and Tyrion before the end of the show. She handled her breakup with Daario Naharis quite well. As did Daario for that matter. Breaking up with the greatest woman in the world for “The Good of the Realm?” I’d turn into washed up Ron Burgundy.
Now Tyrion is Hand of the Queen. And Dany is FINALLY on to Westeros with eleventy billion ships or so. BOUT ‘F*CKING TIME. Can’t wait ’til next wee . . . oh sh*t.
Guess we’ve got at least another 40 + weeks until the best show on television returns. It’ll be long, but based off this past season, it’ll be worth it.
Other Random Game of Thrones Thoughts:
Season 6, Episode 9: Battle Of The Bastards
Season 6, Episode 8: No One
Season 6, Episode 7: The Broken Man
Season 6, Episode 4: Book of the Stranger
Season 6, Episode 3: Oathbreaker
Season 6, Episode 2: The Red Woman
Season 6, Episode 1: Home
Paul Gallant hosts “Gallant at Night” – weeknights 7-11 PM on SportsRadio 610. He also hosts SportsZone Unfiltered – Fridays at 10 PM – on The Kube: Channel 57 and the Spoiler Alert podcast – available weekly on SportsRadio610.com and iTunes. Get in touch with Paul via email or his facebook page.