Ever heard of Tinder?
If you haven’t, here are the details. It’s a dating app for your smart phone. You create a profile, and upload some pictures of yourself. After that, you get to be Shallow Hal. You’re presented with a bunch of profiles . . . of whatever gender you’re into. If you like what you see, swipe to the right. If you don’t, then REJECT TO THE LEFT. And if the people you swipe right, swipe right for you, BAM, you get the option to chat with said person.
Naturally, I signed up for the app. Finding people who are into my furrowed brows? Not a problem. Unfortunately, my chat game may need some work. Apparently, “Sup gurl”, “Hey bae”, and “Dat ass doe” aren’t the best pickup lines.
But back in August, I had a revelation. Why should I put effort into being creative . . . especially when I can steal other people’s thoughts off the internet? It’s the American way!
The biggest problem: finding someone with thoughts that really jump out of the box. Twitter is the PERFECT medium to find these . . . thoughts(?).
Why? Because Twitter in a nutshell is this: a bunch of people screaming random thoughts, hoping that someone will validate them with a “favorite”. Or . . . GASP . . . A RETWEET.
Still, random tweets from the average Joe don’t really resonate. But when they come from an athlete – especially one that doesn’t play the cliche game (except that one time) – they sure as hell do.
The Houston twitter scene has this. Its crown jewel? Arian. Isa. Foster.
So I hit the Tinder, with the wise words of Arian’s twitter account. And here is what happened:
Easy Arian, you’re telling me that my cat Gabbie hates me? Get real, bro.
These are just a few of the gems Arian – aka Feeno? – drops on the Twitter. Watch out Tinder. With these lines, and this face, I’m about to find me a wife. Or something. Probably Sarah, who loves good eyebrows.
Paul Gallant hosts the “B-Straw and Pauly G” show – Tuesdays 9-11 PM, Wednesdays 8-11 PM, and Fridays 8-11 PM – with Brien Straw. Get in contact with Paul on Twitter – @GallantSays – or on Facebook – Paul Gallant.
Latest Sports Stories: