By Paul Gallant, SportsRadio 610By Paul Gallant

Ever heard of Tinder?

If you haven’t, here are the details. It’s a dating app for your smart phone. You create a profile, and upload some pictures of yourself. After that, you get to be Shallow Hal. You’re presented with a bunch of profiles . . . of whatever gender you’re into. If you like what you see, swipe to the right. If you don’t, then REJECT TO THE LEFT. And if the people you swipe right, swipe right for you, BAM, you get the option to chat with said person.

Naturally, I signed up for the app. Finding people who are into my furrowed brows? Not a problem. Unfortunately, my chat game may need some work. Apparently, “Sup gurl”, “Hey bae”, and “Dat ass doe” aren’t the best pickup lines.

But back in August, I had a revelation. Why should I put effort into being creative . . . especially when I can steal other people’s thoughts off the internet? It’s the American way!

The biggest problem: finding someone with thoughts that really jump out of the box. Twitter is the PERFECT medium to find these . . . thoughts(?).

Why? Because Twitter in a nutshell is this: a bunch of people screaming random thoughts, hoping that someone will validate them with a “favorite”. Or . . . GASP . . . A RETWEET.

Still, random tweets from the average Joe don’t really resonate. But when they come from an athlete – especially one that doesn’t play the cliche game (except that one time) – they sure as hell do.

The Houston twitter scene has this. Its crown jewel? Arian. Isa. Foster.

So I hit the Tinder, with the wise words of Arian’s twitter account.  And here is what happened:

1.

14 Tinder Fun With Arian Foster Tweets
Someone’s self-conscious.

2.

161 Tinder Fun With Arian Foster Tweets
She’s got a point.

3.

31 Tinder Fun With Arian Foster Tweets
Prove that hot take wrong, bro.

4.

41 Tinder Fun With Arian Foster Tweets
Not so funny now, eh?

5.

51 Tinder Fun With Arian Foster Tweets
Fun fact: You can’t Tinder on planes.

6.

61 Tinder Fun With Arian Foster Tweets
No, go get a fortune cookie.

7.

71 Tinder Fun With Arian Foster Tweets
You should buy it more catnip.

8.

81 Tinder Fun With Arian Foster Tweets
No one can handle back to back cheesy quotes.

9.

102 Tinder Fun With Arian Foster Tweets
Normal conversations are for non-rebels

10.

111 Tinder Fun With Arian Foster Tweets
PS, I didn’t.

11.

201 Tinder Fun With Arian Foster Tweets
I’m talking about open minds, man

12.

131 Tinder Fun With Arian Foster Tweets
I’m legitimately lost.

13.

151 Tinder Fun With Arian Foster Tweets
Stop linking me to your jezebel blog, bro.

14.

26 Tinder Fun With Arian Foster Tweets
I’m surprised less people were confused like this.

15.

171 Tinder Fun With Arian Foster Tweets
Seriously, Caillou is everything that’s wrong with Canada.

16.

181 Tinder Fun With Arian Foster Tweets
Easy Arian, you’re telling me that my cat Gabbie hates me? Get real, bro.

17.

193 Tinder Fun With Arian Foster Tweets
Arian’s soul-mate.

18.

122 Tinder Fun With Arian Foster Tweets
That escalated….slowly.

19.

251 Tinder Fun With Arian Foster Tweets
Disgusting.

20.

221 Tinder Fun With Arian Foster Tweets
FINALLY, someone who appreciates manicuring eyebrows

21.

241 Tinder Fun With Arian Foster Tweets
One thing we can all agree on. Caillou sucks.

22.

212 Tinder Fun With Arian Foster Tweets
EXPOSED!

These are just a few of the gems Arian – aka Feeno? – drops on the Twitter. Watch out Tinder. With these lines, and this face, I’m about to find me a wife. Or something.  Probably Sarah, who loves good eyebrows.

Paul Gallant hosts the “B-Straw and Pauly G” show – Tuesdays 9-11 PM, Wednesdays 8-11 PM, and Fridays 8-11 PM – with Brien Straw. Get in contact with Paul on Twitter – @GallantSays – or on Facebook – Paul Gallant.

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