By Garret Heinrich

Katy Perry is the headliner at the Super Bowl in Phoenix this February.  In a commercial released by Pepsi to promote the event (seen above) Katy talks about all the different things that she wants to do for the show.  While edible glitter, a Pegasus (or unicorn) and Katy riding a fire breathing shark while wrapped in bacon sounds intriguing, we think there are some other things that this year’s half time show should incorporate.

1. Jet packs

I’m not talking about those gimmicky 7th anniversary trip to the Bahamas water jet packs.

I want real actual jet packs.  With Katy Perry and her dancers flying through an open University of Phoenix roof to land on the stage.  Multiple reasons this would be awesome.  First.  Jet Packs.  Second.  The high risk factor would be bring in the “I can’t go get dip and beer refills now, what if Katy or one of her dancers loses control and goes flying into the stands.  I have to watch this,” start that every good halftime show should have.

No one can justify the wouldn’t get pumped for this:

2. Nyan Cat

I am 100% convinced that without Nyan Cat Katy Perry would still be singing on the streets of Santa Barbara (could find worse streets to be singing on) for avocado and a few bucks everyday.  I know Nyan cat isn’t a real thing, just an internet sensation, but can’t you do some of those placard cards or some sort of hologram to have Nyan Cat flying across the fans in the seats?

Actually, screw it.  I don’t want a hologram of Nyan cat.  I want the real thing.  Let’s find a cat to breed with a pop tart that poops rainbows.  Science, you have 2 months. GET ON IT!

3. Brett Favre

I don’t want Favre coming out of retirement.  I don’t want the WWE style, where the bells play and Favre emerges from a coffin and we cut to Aaron Rodgers wide eyes from the Packers locker room.

 

I want Brett to come out on stage during Katy’s performance and start using his personal beard trimmer to tidy himself up.  It just feels like it should happen for some reason.

4. Justin Timberlake

It’s been ten years since Timberlake took the stage at the Super Bowl.  It’s time to let the man who cause the “wardrobe malfunction” that changed live TV forever back on the stage.

Timberlake gets little-to-no blame for what happened with Janet Jackson on stage, right after he sang “I’m going to have you naked by the end of this song.” But maybe, just maybe, Justin can get back up there and turn out a great epic performance with Katy Perry to let us all forget his role in his previous halftime show.  But, if he performs another wardrobe malfunction moment, I am sure the Internet would be grateful.

5. Whipped Cream

No one has ever used whipped cream at the Super Bowl Halftime show.  She would be an innovator.  The people that run onto the field could all have ice cream sundaes and Gallagher style trash bags.  It would be glorious.

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