By: Garret HeinrichBy Garret Heinrich

There is a lot of prep that goes into Fantasy Football.  The draft prep, waiver wire knowledge, possible trades, but the most important thing you can possibly do is name your team correctly.  A poorly named team name can derail and sink your season before you even get going.   There are a couple rules to a great team name.

  1. Football Reference
  2. Pop Culture Reference
  3. Player Reference
  4. Inside Joke/Personal Reference

If you can some how work in all 4 of these features into one team name then you are set and can go into the draft with confidence.  Now obviously I can’t help with the fourth rule for a good fantasy team name.  That will have to be something taken from hours of personal and league reflection to see what quick concise joke you can weave into the name.  But I can help with the other three.  So here are the best team names you can feel free to use for the 2014 season.

1. From the world of Futbol comes some great references for fantasy football.  Ted Lasso is a former American Football coach turned soccer coach and he actually gives us 4-5 fantastic team names, but we’re just going to lump them all together first on our list.  There is a little bit of Football Reference in here, but it’s mostly all just Pop Culture.

  • Football Punditry
  • Keep Calm & Get Fired Up
  • Who?! Fightin’ Owls
  • Sloshed Up Brothers
  • Mini Bradley Cooper

2. Namath’s Illegitimate Child

This one also comes from a viral video.  The Manning Brothers got rapping about Fantasy Football Fantasies and surprisingly more team names didn’t come out of this.  But this is by far the one top quality name.  It also hits 3 of the rules for a good team name.  If you want to go with “Namath’s Illegitimate Pass” you might be able to squeeze four in there.

3. Le’Veon’s Blount

This is a recent name that is just too perfectly placed together.   Steelers RBs LeVeon Bell and LaGarrette Blount were pulled over and arrested on possession of marijuana charges.  Blount is pronounced more like the small end of a marijuana cigarette.  Join the two together and you have a great team name.   Now just don’t draft LeVeon too early, because he might be out for a few games if charges are brought.  Blount might be a good late round steal.

4. Ha Ha. Clinton Dix

A little extra work to really bring this name together.  You should change your profile picture to Monica Lewinsky and the very fourth grade humor comes into play courtesy of the Packers defensive back.

5.  Rocket’s Real Ha Ha

A little but very funny scene from the blockbuster Guardians of the Galaxy mixed in with Ha Ha Clinton Dix means that you are knocking out a few of the rules of a good fantasy name.  Plus your team icon gets to be Rocket Raccoon, who is just a little bad ass.

6. Turn Down For Watt

This one is pretty easy and will probably be out there a lot, especially if you play in an individual defensive player league.   Although it might be this year’s “Somewhere Over Dwayne Bowe” it is still solid and should be in consideration.

7. Manziel’s Finger

Obviously a reference to Johnny Football throwing up the bird at the Washington bench on Monday Night Football.  With Manziel not starting this could be his legacy for a while in his rookie year.  It will also show your friends and co-workers what you think of their team.

8. Bryan Cox’s Virginity 

If you are watching Hard Knocks then you are enjoying Falcons defensive line coach Bryan Cox and his very candid way with his players.  He delivered a line in episode 3 when talking about his 30 year old daughter and the fact he’s 46 that is just screaming for a Fantasy Football Team name reference.

Good luck with all your fantasy football drafts, seasons and of course naming your teams.


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