Deceptively Fast NFL News – June 4
NFL Ditches Roman Numerals for Super Bowl L.
The NFL wisely decided to use the Arabic “50” instead of the Roman “L” when describing the 2016 Super Bowl. Although they plan on returning to the never-used-in-any-other-aspect-of-life Roman numerals for Super Bowl 51, I propose that we do away with them for good. In addition, I suggest that we get rid of the numbering system altogether. Frankly, the Super Bowls are starting to sound too common. When you talk about Super Bowl 50, all you’re doing is emphasizing that it will be just one Super Bowl among 50. What’s so special about that? If you call it the 2016 Super Bowl, well that’s an entirely different story. It makes that Super Bowl singular. You can associate it with other life events. “Oh yeah, the 2016 Super Bowl. I remember it because that was the year my sister got married, my dog died, Seth Payne got fired, etc.”
Kaepernick Signs for Gobs and Gobs of Money.
According to Ian Rappoport of the NFL Network, Colin Kaepernick has signed a 6 year, $126 million contract with the 49ers, of which $61 million will be guaranteed. That’s $LXI Million in guaranteed money, people. There, you see how stupid Roman numerals are? There’s a reason the Roman Empire collapsed, and I’m pretty sure it has to do with damn near indecipherable numbering system.
This is the kind of money that either secures a great quarterback who can drive his team to success, or the kind that hampers a team for years when their quarterback doesn’t develop into a polished NFL quarterback. He’ll always be a threat with his deep ball and his legs, but he needs to improve his ability to work through his reads.
NFLPA Proposes 52 Week Pay Schedule
According to Tom Pelissaro of USA Today, the NFLPA is suggesting that the NFL pay its players in bi-weekly checks for 52 weeks, rather than the 17 weekly in-season checks that players now receive.
I would support this measure. As much fun as it is to get one gigantic check deposited every week during the season, it is a wake up call for many second year players when they get to this part of the year and realize they may not have budgeted properly.
Player: What do you mean I don’t have enough money to take a party bus to the WNBA game in Tulsa?
Agent: You haven’t been paid since December. I keep trying to tell you that.
Player: Marty, you’re fired. I can fire you, right? I honestly have no idea how any of this works. If I fire you do I still have to pay you.
Agent: Yes, for the duration of your contract that I negotiatied.
Player: LOL, I was just joking about firing you. Can I get a loan?
Should players be better at managing their money? Of course, but so should just about every other ordinary American. How many 23 year olds do you know who follow a budget? If your answer is more than two then you’re either lying or using Jupiter years.
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