Indianapolis Colts v San Francisco 49ers

(Photo Credit: Thearon W. Henderson/Getty Images)

[EDITOR’S NOTE: Normally we put all of the guys together and find out what they learned (See everyone else’s here) from the week of football.  Well week three was a little different.  Fred Davis got fired up.  He learned so much that we had to give him his own post with everything he had learned.  We couldn’t edit it, we just couldn’t bring ourselves to do it. Enjoy.]

What I learned over the weekend…

As much as I want to rant and rave about the Texans… I’ll save my wrath for them last.

First off, the Denver Broncos and Seattle Seahawks are far and away the best two teams in the NFL. Russell Wilson picked up right where he left off last season, the loss of Percy Harvin – who hasn’t officially suited up as a Seahawk in an NFL game, so is it really a loss? – has been an afterthought and the Seahawks defense is just as physical and nasty as they were last year. And that’s without Bruce Irvin – who will be back Week 5. As for the Broncos, well, all they’ve done is decimate the Ravens, Giants and Raiders with Bill the Butcher like craftsmanship and show absolutely no signs of slowing down anytime soon. And both teams play the Texans at home, with Seattle looming Sunday. GULP.

Sticking with the NFC West, the San Francisco 49ers are a mess. Right now. I remember reading an article not too long ago about how the 49ers had essentially escaped the injury bug the last two seasons, and I don’t care what team you are, in a bloodthirsty league like the NFL, when your starters can stay healthy, good things generally happen. Of course, that good fortune doesn’t last long, and without guys like Michael Crabtree, Vernon Davis and Mario Manningham – has he even suited up in a 9ers uniform yet? – there will be problems. (Never mind the Daniel Day-Lewis theme, who coincidentally enough, was the original choice to play Vincent Vega in Pulp Fiction.) Colin Kaepernick has looked more like Colin Quinn the last two weeks and the Read-Option resembles an illiterate option for an inept 49er offense. Throw in Aldon Smith sacking trees with his car and Patrick Willis possibly missing the Rams contest on Thursday, this team is in disarray. Of course the Texans come to town in week 5, so that could stem the bleeding.

A little mish-mash…

The Bengals are stingy, and they play tough, and that defense is going to keep them in every game this season. Dalton. Well, you were awesome in Road House, can you slay the bad guy without getting Sam Elliott killed in the Queen City…? We’ll see.

How bout the Bears..? I like Marc Trestman. He looks smart, wears those old-school 1950s glasses, and I don’t think he’s doing because it’s trendy. I think he does it because he’s been wearing them since the 50s. Seriously though, we know the Bears can D people up, but what in the world of Steve DeBerg is going on with Jay Cutler….? I don’t care what his facial expressions are like, when you make the kind of throws he made Sunday night AND truck a defensive back, that’s my kind of guy.

The NFC East is hilarious in an ‘I don’t meant to laugh because I know it’s rude but when I look at you I just can’t help myself’ kind of way. How bout them Cowboys…? And to my boy Teddy J, the only thing revolutionary about the Eagles right now is how bad their defense is. Wait, that’s not revolutionary. Hipster Sacks!

What a difference a head coach coming back and not having a psychotic defensive coordinator makes in New Orleans… Meanwhile in Tampa, the NFL Network is working on ‘Try me on 4th and Short: The Football Life of Greg Schiano’.

Finally, the AFC South. The Jags. Ugh. The Titans. Slow your roll fellas. You’re still the Titans.

Now, as for MY BOY Andrew Luck…. CHA-CHING. Do I really need to say anything more..?!?!? Do I…?

I don’t. But I will.

Listen up Texan fans… Do you guys realize the Colts are now BETTER at what YOU do than YOU ARE? And I mean using the run to set up the pass… Let’s see, last I checked, Trent Richardson is a man-child and Ahmad Bradshaw is still a pretty damn good #2 running back in the NFL. Yeah, I still don’t like the fact they dink and dunk as much as they do, but how much of that was because they couldn’t run the ball the way they wanted to. See, unlike the Texans, the Colts have a QB who can:

  1. Throw Deep. Accurately. More than once a game.
  2. Evade a rush and make accurate throws on the run.
  3. Is a threat to actually RUN with the ball when a play breaks down or even on a designed BOOT like we saw in the game against SF.
  4. Make his team and fanbase believe they’re always in a game.

Sure, he gets hit a lot, and that could be the undoing for the Colts, but something tells me they’ll get that at least remedied to where he’s not getting pounded series after series. The defense has its questions, no doubt, but they went after the 49ers on Sunday and beat them at their game. Nobody outside of Indy saw that happening. Wins like Sunday are the kind that could reignite the whole ChuckStrong all over again without the backdrop of a sickness, and in the wake of the Richardson deal, the Colts are looking at the Texans are primed to snatch the AFC South…

Which leads me to the Texans.

It’s been a couple days since the debacle on Sunday, which has given me time to process exactly what the hell happened and whether I should buy into the idea that this team just needs some tweaking on offense, the defense actually played well for most of the game and it’s hard to account for a team scoring two touchdowns off special teams and defense.

To which I say – Please.

To borrow a phrase from Dennis Green, this team “is who we thought they were.”

But I’m not letting them off the hook. Not this time.

Do it to me once – say after the GB, NE, Minnesota, Indy, and NE again – in 2012 – shame on you.

Do it to me twice – squeaking by SD and Tenn before being embarrassed on the road in Baltimore – after I said all preseason and after a encouraging 2-0 start that this team was finally showing some kind of winning mettle  – shame on me.

I’ll save some of my rant for my show, but this team is a mirage. They’re like the Jordans you find at a swap meet. Yeah, they look nice, and you get ‘em on the cheap, but once you put them next to a pair of real Jordans, or you wear them outside, guess what, they look bad and fall apart.

It’s too easy to say it’s all Matt Schaub’s fault. Sure, you shouldn’t have to tell your 10-year vet not to stare down his receivers, like he did on the pick six on Sunday, where he NEVER took his eyes off OD once the ball was snapped. But you also shouldn’t have BRICE FREAKING MCCAIN covering the ONLY true receiving threat the Ravens have, Torrey Smith, on a huge third down in the second half.

You shouldn’t have Arian Foster out there as much as you do when he’s playing like he ate 50 tacos by himself before the game or as though he’s in between commercial shoots.

And then there’s Kubiak. “Blame me, we need to improve, he’s battling, championship aspirations, hipster sacks,” or something to that effect is basically what he said on Monday. Gag me.

Don’t look now, but this team is 2-1, and if I was a betting man, which I’m not thank goodness, this team will be 3-4 by the Bye Week.  Mental Toughness….? Yeah, how did Ed “Everything was AWESOME.. Outside of the Loss” Reed look on Sunday when it came to giving the team its much-needed mental toughness…? Which team was he supposed to help with that….? Because I couldn’t tell on Sunday.

I’m not suggesting doom and gloom for the Texans, but after Sunday, this team has proved nothing and all that talk about what they learned last year and how things are different, is just that, talk. These are the same ole Texans. Good enough to beat your middle-rung teams, but when it comes to your upper-class teams, you got the wrong guys. And unfortunately, everybody in the NFL and most of the guys in that Texan locker room know it. Until proven otherwise.

How bout those Chiefs…?



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