With the weather getting colder some of us start looking for more inventive ways to stay warm. Especially if we have to work outside at any time during the winter months. Some people are just cold natured, and get cold sitting on the couch in front of the roaring fire in the fireplace! I’ve searched for the warmest things on the world wide interweb, and here’s what I found.
The Pajamas Warming Pouch
WARNING: Attempting to warm anything besides pajamas in pouch will cause product to explode. It’s called “The Pajamas Warming Pouch” for a reason.
The Kildare Hooded Scarf
Works best with winter coats that have wide, gaping necks and no hood.
Should women be offended or happy that they don’t also sell Men’s Footed Pajamas?
Just press your microwave’s “Slippers” button and you’re all set.
The Siamese Slanket
The first in a series of products that harmonize warmth technology with the heat emanating from an angry partner who’s been stuck together with you for hours.
For those who don’t want to carry the burden of a full turtleneck.
“It’s freezing in here — did you forget the Dachshund Door Draft Stopper?”
Warms up all the major texting muscles from the fingertips to the elbows.
Cap Ear Band
Never venture out into freezing weather without the protection of your thin polyester mesh baseball cap.
The bottom is open and loose so you can change diapers without even taking it off.
The Best Heated Socks
Also transmits radio signals.
The Wearable Electric Blanket
And then right when you joyfully rip open the package you realize the bathroom trip-enabling extension cord is sold separately.
Wolford Cable-Knit Button-up Tights
Don’t let the sexiness of the wool/skin combo go to waste by wearing continuous tights.
Lightmates Heated Body Pillows
Doubles as a glowworm larvae costume.
The Heated Snake Rug
You can either take a blanket and cut out holes so as to make it into a snake or just buy this. You choose!
The winter clothing industry has never had this much fun monetizing co-dependency.
Guess you’ve gotta quit smoking long before it gets down to the butt…
Heatsheets Survival Blanket For Two
Who says everyone dies alone? With this Survival Blanket For Two you’re guaranteed that if you freeze in the wilderness, it’ll be with a partner.
USB Heated Shawl
Sometimes draining your laptop battery is worth it for the experience of using a USB Heated Shawl instead of a boring old sweater.