19 Crazy Things To Keep You Warm

With the weather getting colder some of us start looking for more inventive ways to stay warm. Especially if we have to work outside at any time during the winter months. Some people are just cold natured, and get cold sitting on the couch in front of the roaring fire in the fireplace! I’ve searched for the warmest things on the world wide interweb, and here’s what I found.

#19

The Pajamas Warming Pouch

pajama warmer 19 Crazy Things To Keep You Warm

WARNING: Attempting to warm anything besides pajamas in pouch will cause product to explode. It’s called “The Pajamas Warming Pouch” for a reason.

#18

The Kildare Hooded Scarf

hooded scarf 19 Crazy Things To Keep You Warm

Works best with winter coats that have wide, gaping necks and no hood.

#17

jumpin jammers 19 Crazy Things To Keep You Warm

Should women be offended or happy that they don’t also sell Men’s Footed Pajamas?

#16

Microwave Slippers

hotsox 19 Crazy Things To Keep You Warm

Just press your microwave’s “Slippers” button and you’re all set.

#15

The Siamese Slanket

siamese slanket 19 Crazy Things To Keep You Warm

The first in a series of products that harmonize warmth technology with the heat emanating from an angry partner who’s been stuck together with you for hours.

#14

Knit Dickey

dickey 19 Crazy Things To Keep You Warm

For those who don’t want to carry the burden of a full turtleneck.

#13

dachsund door 19 Crazy Things To Keep You Warm

“It’s freezing in here — did you forget the Dachshund Door Draft Stopper?”

#12

Texting Gloves

texting gloves 19 Crazy Things To Keep You Warm

Warms up all the major texting muscles from the fingertips to the elbows.

#11

Cap Ear Band

cap ear band 19 Crazy Things To Keep You Warm

Never venture out into freezing weather without the protection of your thin polyester mesh baseball cap.

#10

The Peekaru

peekaru 19 Crazy Things To Keep You Warm

The bottom is open and loose so you can change diapers without even taking it off.

#9

The Best Heated Socks

heated socks 19 Crazy Things To Keep You Warm

Also transmits radio signals.

#8

The Wearable Electric Blanket

wearable electric blanket 19 Crazy Things To Keep You Warm

And then right when you joyfully rip open the package you realize the bathroom trip-enabling extension cord is sold separately.

#7

Wolford Cable-Knit Button-up Tights

button up tights 19 Crazy Things To Keep You Warm

Don’t let the sexiness of the wool/skin combo go to waste by wearing continuous tights.

#6

Lightmates Heated Body Pillows

heated body pillow 19 Crazy Things To Keep You Warm

Doubles as a glowworm larvae costume.

#5

The Heated Snake Rug

heated snake rug 19 Crazy Things To Keep You Warm

You can either take a blanket and cut out holes so as to make it into a snake or just buy this. You choose!

#4

Glovers

glovers 19 Crazy Things To Keep You Warm

The winter clothing industry has never had this much fun monetizing co-dependency.

#3

Smoking Mittens

smoking mittens 19 Crazy Things To Keep You Warm

Guess you’ve gotta quit smoking long before it gets down to the butt…

#2

Heatsheets Survival Blanket For Two

heatsheets 19 Crazy Things To Keep You Warm

Who says everyone dies alone? With this Survival Blanket For Two you’re guaranteed that if you freeze in the wilderness, it’ll be with a partner.

#1

USB Heated Shawl

heated shawl 19 Crazy Things To Keep You Warm

Sometimes draining your laptop battery is worth it for the experience of using a USB Heated Shawl instead of a boring old sweater.

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