Apparently, Mr. Perfect Likes Dogs And Basketball
Yes, that is correct. Liking dogs and basketball are some pretty valuable traits I need in a man, according to some shmuck dating web site.
My personal email inbox revealed the source of this knowledge about me and a man just right for me.
According to an email from a well-known matchmaking web site (which I don’t remember joining), some dude – who, by the way, is listed as being 25 years older than me – is my perfect mate or match or eBuddy or something. The perfect man is just one click away. How can it be? The answer? Dogs and basketball.
Convincing supporting data
Here’s what the love site wrote to hopefully convince me that they’ve manipulated fate in my favor:
- You’re both dog lovers.
- It’s a slam dunk. You’re both into basketball.
No way. Get out of here! This is amazing news! A slum dunk? That’s just what I’ve been waiting for – two common interests between me and somebody who is closer to retirement than I am from college graduation – a combo so perfect it warrants a slam dunk. How could I be so lucky!
Strangely, I’ve never had any difficulty meeting men who appreciate some of the interests I have – like dogs and basketball. Shocking, I know. But let’s scratch the surface a little deeper here.
Miss Perfect at your service
True story. Somebody once told me I’m the perfect woman. It might have even happened twice. This ridiculous compliment (or completely inaccurate judgment) came moments after I carried on about some football topic. Me? The perfect woman? Absolutely – if you think needy, cynical, crabby, busy, impatient, nagging, over-analyzing are all appropriate adjectives to make up that description of what a perfect woman is all about.
Don’t worry. I know I have some sweet, endearing traits, but I also know I’m far from perfect just like Mr. Dog Basketball. But would somebody, for at least one moment, please consider weighing a handful more human characteristics before claiming an immediate connection? Dig a little more before “slam dunk” becomes the phrase of choice.
While I’ve always criticized online dating and will continue to do so, I will admit at least one positive. These sites are fantastic if you’re looking for somebody to meet you at the dog park or to high-five at a Rockets game if the NBA does have a season. But to find your perfect mate? In my opinion – fat chance on that.
Mr. or Miss Perfect: you do not exist online or otherwise; but Mr. or Miss I-Think-We-Can-Hang-Out-Without-Killing-Each-Other could be out there for you somewhere. Click away all over those hook-me-up web sites if that’s for you, but I’m going to stick with recommendations from friends and the random meetings not sparked by a computer-generated email.
with Anna-Megan Raley