Number one complaint coming from your spouse or partner is that you don’t listen. You are always on the receiving end of criticism. Honey-do projects are incompleted or incorrectly done. Truthfully, you listened but you don’t hear what they say.
Don’t fret, here is what to do to improve your listening skills so there is way less nagging going on in your life.
1. When your spouse comes into the room and begins to chatter, give him your full attention. Show him you are listening, by turning off the T.V., putting down the newspaper or stop doing your current activity. Turn and make eye contact. This will eliminate their need to be disruptive or competitive for your attention.
2. Listen to everything she said and then make sure you have received the message clearly. Repeat back to her what she said. If there is any miscommunication, this would be the time to clarify.
3. After clarity has been reached, let him know if there are any problems with time or ability. Reach a reasonable solution and make a plan to carry out the task in a timely manner. If it is something that you can not do, then help your partner find a way to approach a meaningful solution.
4. If the discussion becomes argumentative, stop, take a deep breath and calm down. Ask your spouse to come back in a few minutes when things are calmed down. This is not an excuse to permanently backburner your discussion. Return to the discussion when you are both calm enough to reasonably make beneficial responses.
5. Where there is a stalemate, agree to disagree. Sometimes issues can be resolved by a reliable third party’s opinion, a professional, or an experienced friend.
6. Maintaining a history of active listening skills will help stop your spouse or partner from using negative comments to get your attention and nagging as a tool to remind you to do favors.