The Charlie Sheen Guide To Passing A Job Interview:

By JOHN P. LOPEZ

March 2, 2011 7:35 AM

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Seriously, if you didn’t know the back-story — you didn’t know the trainwreck that Charlie Sheen’s life has become, and the history of drug use and decadence — wouldn’t Sheen’s recent quotes be impressive?

Let’s say you were an employer, looking to add to your sales staff? Wanna play? Here are some typical job interview questions and REAL Charlie Sheen answers.

Admit it, you’d hire the guy if you didn’t know any better:

What is your greatest strength?

“I’m bi-winning. I win here. I win there.”

Describe a typical work week.

”I’m proud of what I created. It was radical. I exposed people to magic. I exposed them to something they’re never going to see in their boring normal lives.”

How many hours do you normally work?

“Sometimes sleep is for infants. I don’t sleep. I wait. When I can’t sleep I don’t fight it. I just figure that there’s a higher calling.”

What is your greatest weakness?

“I am on a drug. It’s called ‘Charlie Sheen!’ It’s not available because if you try it once you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.”

How would you describe yourself?

“I’m a high priest vatican assassin warlock. I don’t know. All these words just sound cool together. They come from my grand wizard master.”

How would you describe the pace at which you work?

When you’ve got tiger blood and Adonis DNA, it’s like, get with the program dude.”

What motivates you?

“I’ve been the aw-shucks guy with this bitchin’ rockstar life, so now I’m going to completely embrace it. I’m going to wrap both arms around it and love it violently, and defend it violently, through violent hatred.”

What are your salary expectations?

“I’m not [broke] but I was kind of counting on some of that money to get me through the summer. Now I’ve got to like work. But that’s alright. Work’s good. Work fuels the soul.”

Tell me about yourself.

I am a peaceful man with bad intentions

What do people most often criticize about you?

“You borrow my brain for five seconds and just be like dude, can’t handle it, unplug this bastard. It fires in a way that is, I don’t know, maybe not from this terrestrial realm.

Sheen vs. Gaddafi: Who said it?

The Charlie Sheen Guide To Passing A Job Interview:

http://www.linkedin.com/in/mariajaimes María Eugenia Jaimes

“I’m a high priest vatican assassin warlock”

Hired.

http://www.debiczanin.pl

Greetings from Debica

http://mikaleebyerman.wordpress.com Mikalee Byerman

“I’m a peaceful man with bad intentions.”

Sounds like a certain ex-husband I know…
http://cimmorene.wordpress.com Cimmorene

”I am on a drug. It’s called ‘Charlie Sheen!’ It’s not available because if you try it once you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.”

That’s a good one. I’ll have to remember that.
http://byoung210.wordpress.com B.C. Young

I’m on the verge of getting sick of hearing about this guy. I think it’s time to move on.

http://escaperoute.wordpress.com/ dorcas

i agree
http://marriedyoung.wordpress.com marriedyoung

I agree as well!
http://nachalooman.wordpress.com Anna Renee

Not quite yet, it’s too good! Don’t fight it, let the tiger blood flow!
whatsaysyou

I seccond that too

http://brownie26.wordpress.com brownie26

“I am on a drug. It’s called ‘Charlie Sheen!’ It’s not available because if you try it once you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.”- hahah I love it!
http://thedivineedge.wordpress.com The Cool Chick

Why is it that people continue to add to the drama – the more you write about this, the more it will continue. Frankly subscribe to what your mother taught you, if you can’t say anything nice, do not say anything at all. There is something seriously wrong with our country if reporting on people’s plights in hopes for ratings and readership is all we are about.

http://error404ts.wordpress.com error404

As right as you are about reporting on the plight of people ti can’t be stopped. And CS is right when he stated that his life is “something [regular people are] never going to see in their boring normal lives”. It give us something to talk about, something to stay away from, and makes us glad that we don’t have THAT kind of drama in our lives. Seeing it on TV just makes it seem less real. I for one will gladly watch it unfold on TV with someone that I don’t know rather than with a friend.

codecrackx15

The best one is not even listed!!!

Some have said you are hard to work with?

CS: I’m not hard to work with, I’m interesting to work with.
http://specialandall.wordpress.com amiandtatasmom

i think that dude drank the funny kool-aid. lol nice one
http://theboxofthoughts.wordpress.com/2011/03/02/the-charlie-sheen-guide-to-passing-a-job-interview-via-cbs-houston-2/ The Charlie Sheen Guide To Passing A Job Interview: (via CBS Houston) « The Box of Thoughts

[...] The Charlie Sheen Guide To Passing A Job Interview: (via CBS Houston) Seriously, if you didn't know the back-story — you didn't know the trainwreck that Charlie Sheen's life has become, and the history of drug use and decadence — wouldn't Sheen's recent quotes be impressive? Let's say you were an employer, looking to add to your sales staff? Wanna play? Here are some typical job interview questions and REAL Charlie Sheen answers. Admit it, you'd hire the guy if you didn't know any better: What is your greatest st … Read More [...]
http://glakia.wordpress.com Lakia Gordon

I’m bi-winning? LOL
http://waterproofcameras.wordpress.com Peter Waltz

Thanks for good tips.
Liz

He is so crazy! I feel horrible for his children. I can’t seem to stop reading and watching the news unfold–shame on me. I do wonder why this is creating such huge media buzz. There are so much more important topics out there.

Congrats for being published on Freshly Pressed!
http://lincando.wordpress.com/2011/03/02/lub-banho-de-sangue-charlie-sheen/ LUB & “Banho de Sangue” + Charlie Sheen « Links, links e mais links.

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http://1year1guy.wordpress.com ThatTurnerKid

I’m not trying to be an ass, but seriously guys, none of the people making light of his situation are allowed to pretend like they cared when he dies next week. =/

http://adoseofbuckley.wordpress.com adoseofbuckley

No one’s going to cry for this guy aside from his family and closest friends who wanted to help him. This is society, our generation didn’t get to watch Kenny or Oswald get shot, this is the closest thing to watching a man get murdered on live TV as we’re going to get, and no one wants to blink just in case we miss it.
http://greatjake1958.wordpress.com greatjake1958

Now that you’ve asked…what say we get up a betting pool on does he die before the calendar year is up? Or before summer?
I mean, you’re making a point, dude. At the rate he’s going, death is NOT an option; it’s a given.
“Tiger blood”? I mean, we all know Spider-Man has radioactive blood, but isn’t this going JUST A BIT OUTSIDE the realm of sanity? (God, now I’m referencing Bob Uecker…LMAO)

Matthew2262

“Sounds like a straight-shooter with upper-management written all over him.”
http://avaaston.wordpress.com Ava Aston’s Muckery

Watching Charlie Sheen is like watching a bad train wreck because it is a bad train wreck.

Blessings,

Ava
xox
http://bonkmonkey.wordpress.com/2011/03/02/whats-not-to-love/ What’s not to love? « Bonkmonkey's Blog

[...] Det här kan man fortsätta roa sig med om man gillar bipolära knarkskallar med hybris (dvs, my kind of peeps): “I’m a high priest vatican assassin warlock.” [...]
http://omnisciens.wordpress.com/2011/03/02/the-charlie-sheen-guide-to-passing-a-job-interview-via-cbs-houston/ The Charlie Sheen Guide To Passing A Job Interview: (via CBS Houston) « Looking Forward

[...] Seriously, if you didn't know the back-story — you didn't know the trainwreck that Charlie Sheen's life has become, and the history of drug use and decadence — wouldn't Sheen's recent quotes be impressive? Let's say you were an employer, looking to add to your sales staff? Wanna play? Here are some typical job interview questions and REAL Charlie Sheen answers. Admit it, you'd hire the guy if you didn't know any better: What is your greatest st … Read More [...]
http://moneyprovidesfreedom.wordpress.com Jackson Rodgers

It’s kinda sad how far he has fallen. He’s a great actor but his life is out of control.

http://bla605.wordpress.com bla605

Im agree with you. Hes a great actor and he should be more careful about it.

http://gmomj.wordpress.com gmomj

I don’t get what the fascination is all about. Everyday he is back on the news spouting more insanities. Okay we get it. He’s nuts are we going to be asked to testify or something???
http://barefinesse.wordpress.com/2011/03/02/so-i-totally-failed/ So I totally Failed. « Barefinesse's Blog

[...] http://houston.cbslocal.com/2011/03/02/the-charlie-sheen-guide-to-passing-a-job-interview/ LikeBe the first to like this post. [...]
abbas

good
thefengshuidiva

why in the world do we glorify, drug abuse, womanizing, prostitution ( the old profession), his irrational behavior gets way too much press.
http://wovenstrands.wordpress.com wovenstrands

Lmao I watched the interview yesterday on 20/20. Poor thing :/
http://lifebehindthemakeupcounter.wordpress.com makingup3000

“I’m not [broke] but I was kind of counting on some of that money to get me through the summer. Now I’ve got to like work. But that’s alright. Work’s good.

Oh poor guy who makes over a million an episode is running out of money and needs to work? I feel so sorry for him. Not.